Our meetings are always held on dry land in full view of the Mighty Yampa so it can't sneak up on us.

All donations go directly to the founder of this site - a shadowy figure of ill repute who exclusively uses the proceeds to buy damn building supplies...and beer.

You can't.

We're likely also your enemy.

After reading one too many dumb post on the Steamboat Rant & Rave Facebook group, we had an epiphany.

Enjoying the Mighty Yampa isn't good enough. You need to show it RESPECT. That respect can only be shown through honorable combat with the river.

First, you need to prove that you've never stand up paddle boarded. That's way too lame for us.

Second, you'll need to prove your worthiness - Conan the Barbarian style - by drinking the blood of your enemy. In this case, that means chugging a full Nalgene of the Mighty Yampa in one go.

If you're not ready yet, you can always subscribe to our awesome newsletter to see all the stuff you're missing out on.

You can try. You won't succeed.

If you absolute need to, you can email us at victory@ this website.com

We're working with some of the worst and cheapest designers in the biz to bring you swag!!! Check back soon to see our barely acceptable collection of:

• Hats

• Sweatshirts

• T-Shirts

• Bathing Apparel for the elderly!